


Family Portrait

by intrikate88



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Families of Choice, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-01
Updated: 2017-10-01
Packaged: 2019-01-07 19:21:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12239115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/intrikate88/pseuds/intrikate88
Summary: Taako's life is changing for the better, sure, but that doesn't mean he's just going to let any of these happy fools rush him into some kind of appearance of normality.(Post-finale or perhaps mid-finale, so spoilers all the way down, really.)





	Family Portrait

 Taako saved the world, six months ago. Okay, and a bunch of other people too, but he _did_ get knocked on his ass by the personification of the Hunger, so he’d take credit where he could get it. The point was: it’d been six months, and the world was getting better by the day, and his world even more so. It was practically perfect, in fact; he had a twin sister, and he had a boyfriend, which was absolutely a 200% improvement on his life a year ago, or something like that, whatever, he doesn't do math.

So practically perfect, in fact, that as he sits in a park in Neverwinter on a Saturday watching Kravitz boost Angus up on his shoulders so that Ango can get a look into a bird’s nest up on a branch, after the three of them have gone for ice cream and to buy a uniform for that school Angus insisted on going to, he feels something deep in his chest. It takes him a second to identify this feeling, this urge, pulling at him to… 

…to run the fuck away, sweet fuck, what has he gotten himself into? Taako flips through options in his brain. If he casts Blink, he can disappear right this second, reappear outside the park, cast a glamor on himself before finding the closest caravan out of town. He’ll be a different person three towns away before anyone even realizes he’s not sitting under this tree anymore. Except, wait, Kravitz is a bounty hunter of souls, Kravitz can find him anywhere—

“There were baby birds in the nest! They were four days post-hatching, if my development estimations are correct, but ornithology isn’t really my specialty,” chatters Angus, still sitting on Kravitz’s broad shoulders as they come up to the tree Taako is sitting under. Taako lets it drift over him without paying attention, which isn’t that much different from the rest of when Ango is talking, but this time it’s because he can’t think of what spells might disguise his form from any observation from the astral plane. 

Kravitz notices Taako’s glazed eyes first, because he notices most things, damn him. “Taako, is everything—“ 

“Wait!” Taako bursts out. “ _Wait_. WAIT.” He stands up, roughly brushing nonexistent dirt off his skirt. “Look, I’m— I’m not saying I’m against rushing into things— actually, wait, that's not true, I am totally against rushing into things. What are you two _doing_ , I just got the world to stop ending because I wanted some fuuuuuuh _uuuuucking_ peace and quiet to smooch my boyfriend and suddenly y'all are making us look like we're trying to win the Most Adorable Gay Dads pageant, here —which we would totally win, natch— but I don't know what you're trying to pull, here, I WILL NOT BE MANIPULATED BY CUTENESS INTO THIS INSTA-FAMILY SITUATION, fucking _nope_ , Taako's gotta hold onto some cool sex-appeal points before hitting middle-aged domestic shit, okay?”

The park is silent. It’s possible even birds have stopped chirping. A cloud moves over the sun.

Kravitz and Angus stare. Angus experimentally sticks out his lower lip and widens his eyes and tries to summon up some tears as he says, "Does that mean.... you don't want to be one of the father-type figures in my life, helping me with my spells and cooking, while Kravitz gives me piggyback rides?" And he lets out a sniffle, then sadly climbs down from Kravitz’s shoulders. Taako’s been teaching him a little more about getting people to do what you want, magically or otherwise, but even he can’t tell if the almost-crying is really happening or not. And also, fuck this kid, that ain’t fair play.

Taako looks at the two of them, and they are totally shameless about all of this. He makes a mental note to be proud at some later point in time.

He sighs noisily, and relents. “OKAY. Okay. But ONLY because my boyfriend looks really tall and handsome standing next to you, since you're short, Ango, that's a short joke, and also I don't trust anyone else to teach you magic right. Or how to cook right, that's for damn sure, and it'll be more work later if I have to re-teach you everything because someone else fucked it up. _Fine_. Are we all happy now?”

“Yes, sir!” Angus says, beaming and launching himself at Taako and compelling Taako to catch him in a hug if he doesn’t want to be knocked over. He definitely forced Taako to hug him, Taako is almost certain. Kravitz crosses his arms, and is fighting a smile. Taako makes a face at him. 

“God, be chill, little dude,” Taako says, dropping Ango after a moment. His feet hit the ground and he’s got a satisfied look on his face. “Always be cool, remember that.”

“Like you, sir?” Angus asks earnestly. Kravitz snorts with laughter and tries to turn it into a cough. 

“Yes, exactly like me,” Taako answers with dignity. “C’mon, let’s get you back to the moonbase, if you’re moving into the dorms tomorrow you’ve gotta get a lot of sleep. Like, fourteen hours, _at least_.”

“That seems a little excessive—“

“Nope, trust me, I know what I’m talking about, Ango. Krav, will you open up a door to get this kid home? I don’t want to have to call Lucretia for a bubble, I’m not speaking to her.”

Angus’s brow furrows. “Didn’t you talk to her this morning? And a couple days ago?”

“ _Metaphysically_ ,” Taako clarifies, loudly. “She’s still got six more months at the top of my shit list and she knows it. Oops, look, time to go, there’s a hole right into your bedroom, there you go, Ango.” Taako crowds Angus through the rift Kravitz cut between spaces.

“ _ByesirsbyeKravitz_!” Angus gets out before the rift closes behind him.

There’s silence for a moment, but it’s normal silence, not like the kind after Taako’s pronouncement a few minutes earlier. It’s a silence with birds in it.

It’s a silence that Kravitz, showing infinite mercy, breaks before Taako has to fill it.

“You know we can take it as slow as we want, right?” he asks. “Like, the world isn’t ending and the only mortality we’re facing is when I look in a mirror—“ He waits for Taako to laugh at the joke, but gets nothing. “I’m trying to say, if you think we’re moving too fast and you’re not comfortable, you can tell me.”

“No, it’s not— it’s not that.” Taako huffs, then drags his palms down his face. “I’m comfortable! I’m super comfortable. Don’t tell anyone and make them think I’m not chill as fuck,” he adds, ignoring Kravitz’s small laugh, “but I don’t think I’ve been comfortable in like, ninety years, so I don’t know what comfortable is. It’s probably this. I don’t know.”

Kravitz takes his hand, and they start walking towards the edge of the park, side by side. Some conversations are easier to have without eye contact. “Look, I’ve spent uncountable years in the astral plane, I’m not exactly an expert on comfort, either. It seems sometimes like you get what you get, and if being uncomfortable is easier, then we do uncomfortable.”

“Kinky,” remarks Taako. 

“You’re the one dating the Grim Reaper, I don’t see where you have room to talk.” Kravitz looks over. “But really. Now that you’re on to the cunning plot Angus and I hatched to lure you into our trap of vaguely resembling a conventional family, when he isn’t busy spending time with the rest of our extended family, I suppose I have to admit it: I’m going to stick around, as long as you want me to. Which, y’know, could be a pretty long time. So no rushing in necessary.”

Taako pulls on Kravitz’s hand, stopping them, and turns to kiss Kravitz. Nothing dramatic, it’s not the greatest kiss ever, it’s just ordinary. It’s as ordinary as one dude kissing his boyfriend should be. Then he lowers his head, and tells Kravitz’s shirt, “I mean, I asked you out when I was still pretty sure you were trying to kill us, so that’s on me.” Kravitz’s shirt is a very nice conversational partner, Taako decides, and adds, “I don’t like… being told who I am, or what to feel. I want to wait and see how things shake out and decide for myself.”

“No cute insta-family with two dads taking their son to the park?” Kravitz asks.

“ _Ugh_ ,” says Taako, with great feeling. “God. Gross. I can keep an open mind, if we’re ever dads we’ll be the greatest at it, but it’s been like eight months, I can’t fucking see that with my eyeballs.”

“Okay, so we save the Most Adorable Gay Dads Pageant for some other time,” concedes Kravitz. “I’m still going to spend time with Ango, though, I’ve never really spent much time with a kid before and I like him.” Kravitz pauses a moment. “Well, I’ve spent some time with kids, when collecting other souls. Sometimes they can see me. And then they just want to count all my bones or ask if I have to brush everything when I brush my teeth.”

Taako laughs, and finally looks back up. “If Ango calls either of us ‘dad’, though, that’s it, I’m blasting right out of here,” he says.

“I’d understand, you know, if you did. But… really?” asks Kravitz, cupping Taako’s cheek with one of his comfortingly large (if cold) hands.

“No, not really,” replies Taako, and that knot in his chest, telling him to flee before he can’t, starts to loosen.


End file.
